Three Ways to Inoculate the Stress Contagion In Unprecedented Times
While sipping coffee on my back patio one Sunday morning after an election, I received a call from a long-standing patient. Typically a calm patient by nature, despite navigating her way through childhood trauma, calling me on a Sunday morning sounded my alarm bell. I began to mentally prepare for the worst-case scenario switching out my Sunday morning leisure hat for my clinical hat. I centered myself, took a deep breath…and picked up the call.
Before I could even say hello, I heard, “I left my husband of 30 years! It’s over I am done! I’m furious and I’m not going back, I’ve had it. His values don’t align with mine.” And poof, 30 years of a life, family and marriage broken and destroyed over politics. Future travel plans, growing old together, holidays, births of grandchildren, along with shared family Christmas’ in matching Pjs, burial plots side by side, gone. It was all over.
The political divide is no longer just about policies—it’s personal, emotional, and it’s taking a toll on our health. In a world where truth feels negotiable, stress isn’t just personal—it’s political. When our reality feels distorted, a collective confusion ensues, and emotional distress begins to unfold. (See this study for reference — https://www.apa.org/monitor/2024/10/managing-political-stress.)
Today’s geopolitical climate is a macro representation of our emotional traumas that are occurring on micro epidemic levels — a macro expression of a micro epidemic. Allow me to explain.
On the micro level, many lack an internalized sense of safety — whether from trauma(s), adverse childhood experiences and relationship turmoil. This has resulted in epidemic levels of anxiety, depression, and stress related health issues on the macro level. These mental health concerns are now being magnified because of the current societal stage of apparent dysfunction — from international wars to state and national political changes — which exacerbates the already inflamed mental health crisis.
Plenty of evidence-based research shows that feeling safe creates a sense of wellness and decreases physical ailments especially GI and anxiety. How do we feel safe when we cannot understand or worse yet we can’t change it? How can we inoculate ourselves from political and emotional trauma and get back into grounded sense of sanity?
Here are three ways to inoculate ourselves from the stress contagion:
Technique 1: Cultivate Cognitive Clarity and Safety
What It Is: Strengthening your ability to discern facts and stay feeling safe above all else.
How To Do It:
Use the “Three Questions Rule” before reacting: Is it true? Is it useful? Is it kind?
Then, evaluate the answers by asking, does this add value to my mental and physical health right now? And, is this keeping me feeling safe?
Feeling safe will decrease anxiety and reduce physical ailments and foster peace independent of anyone else. Peace begets peace.
Technique 2: React or Respond, the Choice is Yours.
What It Is: Managing emotional responses to avoid burnout, rage or looking like you lost control of yourself, which only exacerbates the issue. By learning to catch ourselves and thoughts before overreacting to someone else’s inversion of reality or gaslighting, we can regulate our own responses. It’s called reactive abuse when you have a disappointing reaction to someone else’s unhealthy behaviors.
How To Do It:
The difference between reacting and responding is a few seconds. Use the power of silence to collect your anger and rage to calm the nervous system down.
My favorite tool is to count backwards from a million, this engages a totally different part of the brian and disengages the fight or flight response. Even if you are surrounded by rage and utter disbelief of the events around you, counting helps your mind shift.
Before reacting you can say, “I am going to take a moment to think on that.” Or, you can ask to clarify the statement made, such as, “Did you mean to say it that way?” “Can you repeat that please? I need more clarity as to what is the point you are trying to get me to understand.” These work well if you are being gaslit or hearing slurs. Then pause…even if it feels like awkward silence. Count backward if you need to. But give yourself time to respond instead of an instant reaction. Then, decide if the conversation or interaction is helping your peace, helping serve you or the greater good. If it’s not serving the greater good, count backwards to keep your emotional mind at bay so you can think with clarity. The mind in Limbic (fight-flight) has the body in limbo. If you feel like fighting back, your body will prepare for a fight and your stress will be contagious. So, the calmer you are, the more powerful you appear and feel, and you can respond in a way that defuses the stressful situation.
Avoid arguing from a defensive posture. Instead, find your truth and stand firm in silence. Arguing your point is moot. Own your truth and make changes where you can within yourself because arguing only hurts you. Arguing also emboldens others’ beliefs. I have never seen someone change their opinion after a debate or position after an argument.
The body can’t tell if you are imagining a fight or actually having one. Try picturing yourself in a bubble of peace that is like a superpower to keep bad vibes out. You will be shocked when you create this force field at how calm you feel and how powerful it is. I like to imagine a wonder woman, this shield protecting me from others’ biorhythms. Wonder woman activates and I do her spin in my mind’s eye that transforms me into a super hero. I use this technique to feel a sense of safety and fun. We can only play when we feel safe.
Technique 3: Foster Self Connection.
What It Is: Prioritizing the relationship with authentic self.
How To Do It:
You may never understand, and that’s okay! If trying to understand is causing you harm mentally and emotionally, stop. Ask yourself, is this harming my well-being? If it doesn’t align with you, you probably don’t understand it, let that be okay. Get okay not understanding the other side for your own well-being. Ruminating on why only hurts you more, and your energy is needed for bigger things in this world.
If feeling right or understood is your goal, odds are you will never reach it in today’s climate. Perhaps you may even re-traumatize yourself from some childhood wound where you felt unheard, unimportant or not valued or a need to serve or fight for unjust. All that may serve you in the long run as you heal from it but if it’s making you feel rage and helpless, you just give your peace away. Nothing is worth giving your peace away. Giving your peace away can be a choice, so can protecting it. Foster the relationship with your authentic self so when others attack you, you feel solid and connected to your beliefs — so solid you don’t need to argue about it. This calming sense of self is communicated through your energy and this personal investment in your peace and truth pays dividends for a lifetime of mental and physical health.
Instead of seeing political differences as a battle, what if we saw them as an opportunity for personal growth? We need to learn how to protect our inner peace with each decision, each interaction, moment by moment, cultivating and nourishing an internal sense of calmness, a reconciliation of our own needs to feel understood, and having self-compassion. Because stress begets stress, but peace begets peace.
